Monday, 25 September 2017

Playing the dating game

A little while back I wrote about a big life change, the end of a  long term relationship. One of nearly 5 years in fact. It seems a lot longer than 6 months since that happened. A period of 6 months can change a person a lot. This past half year has seen many changes within my life:

  • I ran not one, but two races.
  • changed team in work
  • grew closer to my friends and family.
  • failing my driving test and prepping for the second attempt
  • moved out of my parents(AGAIN)
  • went abroad for the first time since I was 16
  • booked my own solo trip abroad
  • Dyed my hair red, twice
  • new piercing


Quite a few things crop up without too much thought. It feels like I've spent the last half year getting to know myself and explore my own wants and desires. There's one big change that I've talked about briefly here, and that's getting back to dating again.
Truthfully I hadn't ever been dating before. The relationships I've had in the past have all developed from previous friendships. So to say it was new water, was well, the only way to phrase it. 

I've tried out three different apps now, to varying degrees of success. It helps I've found, to have an idea what it is you want from dating apps before you start swiping. Believe or not there are people on there who are only looking to meet new people, and of course there is the other end of the spectrum(yep people only after one thing!). Theres everything and anything in between.

So the apps I've tried out each have different selling points. I want to talk about the pros and cons of each. All the apps have a free version and a paid upgrades version. I've tested out he free option on all of them(cheapskate or what?). 
The first, is an app called: HER. It's a dating app for lesbians and bisexuals. It's a LGBT QIAAP friendly app.
Pros:
  • There's a wide mix of open minded people
  • Has multiple options for what you're looking for
  • Can search far and wide for like minded people
  • In app social feed
  • Notifications for if people liked you
  • Can upload lots of pics to your profile
Cons:
  • No age range. Comes under the upgraded paid app
  • People don't seem to chat. I don't quite get this one but the silence rates where much higher on here than I'd expected.
  • Can be harder to arrange meet ups. Between the silence and the large search radius, it can be hard to find someone willing to meet in person
  • No option for a bio on profile
Overall give this app a 6/10.

Next up is one called Bumble. The premise is simple, the girl needs to chat first, and within 24 hours or you'll unmatch. The other person has 24 hours respond in return, or again it'll be lost. If you both do then the match stays open. 

Pros:
  • Extra prompt for initiating contact with the 24 hour deadline
  • People seem more inclined to chat. Yep actually had some decent conversations through this one.
  • Cute little honey logo, yep I got caught in by the design...
  • No backlog of potential matches, if you don't chat then it's bye bye!
Cons:
  • I'll be honest this is definitely geared up for Herero couples. Although I had the option set for "likes men and women" only a tiny percentage where women. I'm pretty sure I never chatted to any gals on this app at all.
  • Surprisingly I found the time limit off putting rather than pushing me to initiate conversation. I definitely prefer the other person initiating.  
Bumble was probably my leafs favourite of the apps, only gets better a 5/10 for me.

The final app has to be Tinder of course. It's the one that I've probably used this most and probably has the bigger recognition in the dating app scene. 

Pros:
  • App is easy to use
  • Able to put a "bio" so not just swiping based on looks.
  • Big user base, plenty of potential people to swipe
  • Allows option of liking bob "men and women" and actually had some women come up on screen albeit still a poor ratio of profiles to the men.
  • Option for group dating, can be both funny and reassuring having your mates in the chat.
  • No 
Cons:
  • The app had a tendency to not tell me I had messages... yep sorry people, not just being a dick over here...
  • Sometimes people skip the hello all together and just go straight to propositioning you. Fair enough if you're only there for some casual fun, but a greeting or two goes a long way.
  • You can "superlike" people. It's meant to be a pro for the app but honestly the only time I use this feature was when I accidentally pressed it...
I've probably had the best run with Tinder. Found some genuinely nice people and even succeeded in arranging a few meet ups. 
Scores a 8/10, could be that little bit better.

Have you used any of these apps or are thinking of trying then? Let me know your thoughts!

Abi x