Sunday, 23 April 2017

Running, so far...

If I'm honest, this wasn't the post I wanted to write today. I wanted to talk about the good things that have happened recently, talk about the amazing CarnLIVal event that happened the other week, my work on self-dating and other fun things. They all involve a certain degree of happiness to do them justice. Today however, at the time of writing, I'm in a foul mood. It's hard to say why but today I'm definitely much lower in mood.

With that in mind I wanted to talk about a more neutral topic. So that those other posts can be written when I can truly do them justice. This post is instead about a more neutral topic. Today I want to chat about my running progress so far.

At the time of posting I'm around a month away from the half marathon. My first ever race. Part of me I amazed that I have managed to keep up my training. I'm slowly falling in love with running. 
It has so many amazing effects in me that I'm seriously glad I signed up in the first place.
At the moment I'm running roughly three times a week. I'll admit on my longer runs I'm not getting in as many miles as I'd have wanted to by this point, but I'm also not far off my aims. 
The crunch point for me is the speed. In averaging around 13:30 minutes per mile on my better runs. So I've started doing more sprint work and incline running to really push myself.
I don't know what to expect on race day, but I'm really hoping I can push myself that little faster in the moment.
Until then, all I can do is keep training. Stay motivated and keep challenging myself appropriately. 
Any tips for me?
Abi X

Monday, 10 April 2017

It's okay to have setbacks

Well, hello there leading title... It's true though. It's okay to not get things right the first time round. It's okay to not know what you want, to play it safe. 
It's also okay to take risks, to experiment. It's not often life throws a curveball that gives you a chance to explore and get to know yourself better. 
It's okay to try new things and get it wrong. Maybe you don't really suit red hair, but how will you know unless you try it?
It's okay to push yourself and realise you're still in those same old habits. I mean, yet became habitual for a reason? It's the comfort zone, the well worn path.  Even if you hadn't realised it, it's okay to say stop, this isnt what I was after. Or that that attempt to change the pattern don't quite work.
It's okay to not have a plan. To want to explore avenues. It's okay to accept help from those around you, it doesn't make you any less independent. No one has more power over you than you do. 

I guess what this post is trying to say is that it's okay to be you. Even if you're not yet sure what that means.

Abi x

Sunday, 9 April 2017

Self-date 1: Romantic stroll

If you're a bit confused about the title of today's post then I recommend you read this post here. Today I'm talking you through my first "self-date" in which I went for a walk along the stunning Liverpool waterfront.

Now, admittedly going by myself meant the romance was turned down low. Yet it was so freeing to do something purely because I wanted to. 
I'd planned to do a little shopping, pick up a few bits I needed but it was such a sunny day I couldn't resist walking down to the docks. Could you?
It was genuinely so relaxing. I was in no rush and even treated myself to a cheeky ice cream. 
If you're ever up in Liverpool I'd absolutely recommend a walk round the docks. It's a place steeped in history and amazing architecture. It's full of cute shops, cool bars and yummy restaurants.Great if you're with others or flying solo like me.


Where do you recommend I go on my next self-date?

Abi x

Tuesday, 4 April 2017

Self-dating

I read a lovely post by Northern Blood the other day, talking about how, before we date others we should date ourselves. Deep right? It really struck home to me and reminded me of a point I made in this post.

Having been in long term relationship my whole adult life, one that has now ended, my sense of self has taken a hit. 
I've made lots of positive changes ( and loving them) but I'm still feeling a little lost at times. 
Going back to that blog post by Northern Blood, she recommends everyone should date themselves( at any point in life). To me, this sounds like a fun way to get to know myself again as well as adjusting to being a single pringle. 
So watch this space guys...

Abi x

Still not sold on it? Then check out Abbey's blog post,she gives a few pros to it!

Round up 1: with #LivBloggersIgnite

Things are a little busy at the moment, so I thought it would be nice to start doing a few wee round uo posts. Todays post is about last Saturday, I felt like I didn't stop all day!

The driving lesson
I'm cracking my way through these now, even starting a few maneuvers. Its creeping close rto my theory test so I'll be hitting the books very soon, eek!


#LivbloggersIgnite
Blog events are like buses, nothing for ages then two come along at once! This Saturday I was lucky enough to attend the #LivBloggersIgnite workshop in Liverpool. It was lovely to see lot of local bloggers again and meet a few new faces, in the cutesy Tapas restaurant Roja Pinchos. The event consisted on a few different talks, all quite detailed and varying around blogging. My favourite was probably the one by Future Boss Club leader Jayne who challenged us to up our Networking game. Also received talks from Edward Ridding about Wordpress, Jurga all about #INSPO mag and a finale from Jenny Mugridge. We all received a cheeky free glass of Cava and a snazzy Goody bag! (Bonus).
 There was also a classic selfie spot but I'm afraid the red light made it a wee bit demonic!Thanks Ruth for the invite!


Anarchist book fair
Held just down the road from the blogger event was an anarchist book fair. I had a lovely stroll through it and even picked up a wee book. Admittedly I didn't get the one I really wanted as I didn't have enough change. Still, it was a cool thing to stuble upon.

Race evening
Finally, until the twee hours of the morning I was at a charity race evening for our local cadets unit(which my sister takes part in). It was great fun and 20% of the profits went to the victims of the New Ferry explosion.

Quite a busy day, wouldn't you agree?
Have you enjoyed this style of post?

Abi x

Saturday, 25 March 2017

Looking forward

After my last post I felt it was only fair if I told you a few things I've been doing lately to keep positive. Mostly I've been making plans, giving myself things to count down to instead of counting how long since.... 
1. Dying my hair// this is something I've wanted to do again for ages. Hopefully by the time this post goes live I'll have had it done 🙌
2. Races// I've signed up to two over the summer. It's not easy but the training has been keeping me busy and actually making me feel pretty good about myself(bonus). 
3. Blog events// these seem to be like buses, I have had none for a while then two come along at once! I had such fun at the #Carlival event before Christmas that it's giving me all the giddy feels for the next few weeks! 
4. Blogging// not just the events, I've been really enjoying writing at the moment. It's cathartic to have somewhere you can just spew out words and feelings.
5.Driving// the lessons continue and I'm inching my way closer to being a fully qualified driver!

There we have it, a few things on my radar at the moment. Between these lot and work and friends, my plate is pretty darn full. In fact it's great, and I'm loving the positive changes I've been making.

What's going on with you guys? 

Abi x

Tuesday, 21 March 2017

Surviving the end of a long term relationship

Well, that's a loaded title and a half. If you hadn't guessed from that title, I recently left a long term relationship. I won't give you all the juicy details, but we were together 4 and a half years, lived together and he initiated the ending. Yeah....

As you can imagine, it's thrown me for a loop. The setup of my life has suddenly changed. The plans and future I was aiming for suddenly stopped existing.
I never really realised how intertwined our lives were until they weren't. 

Self identity:
To me, being with someone was a crucial part of my self identity. It gave me confidence and security that I've never had on my own. I haven't been single in nearly 5 years, thats a long fecking time.

Location:
I loved where we were living. It was a wee part of the country in drivable distance of cities.  The key word being drivable. Public transport did exist but poorly. So for work, instead I cycled. I would often have a lift from the ex or family for social things but I'd also avoid doing things after work because it was such a faff. It made me incredibly isolated and lonely at times.We were living there based on requirements for his uni course. 
But now? Now I'm back with my parents, 5 years after first moving out and it's a heck of an adjustment.

Friends: 
Leading on from that, you would expect a division in friends. For me, this didn't happen. We didn't have many(well none) mutual friends any more. I probably should have taken that as a sign.

Hobbies:
This is something Im really struggling with at the moment. Quite a few of the things I enjoyed were introduced to me by my ex. Part of me wants to avoid them at all costs but the truth is that would make me more miserable not less. It's a choice you have to make on an individual basis.

Intimacy:
This is a big one. I'm sorry if it grosses you out but it's just as important as everything else I've talked about. Essentially I have been with the same person so so so long. It's hard for me to sit here and imagine kissing any one else. It feels weird. 
Even stranger is my sexuality. It's not something that comes up a lot but I identify as bisexual. I always have. Yet it's often over looked because I was in cisgender long term monogamous Herero relationship. It's strange for me to recognise those feelings again after so long. At the end of the day, when I do start dating again it's not going to be simple. 

I debated writing this post, because of how personal I knew it would get. In the end, writing it helped me think things through and I hope it helps others.